New Adventure Coming
7 years ago
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Church or Family...
Okay, I've been thinking about this for a long time, but please don't take this the wrong way. I'm soooo sick of church meetings!!! I'm the Young Women's president and Dan is the seminary teacher, and it seems like between the two of us, there is always something to do...always!! I had a bit of a meltdown a week or so ago and was a little mad at the whole thing. I've cooled off since then, but I'm still disturbed by how many meetings there are to go to. Last week I had to go to church Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights. I skipped out on Wednesday (just because i wanted family time) and so I just had to go two nights. That's not that bad. Our cars go to the church like a hundred times a week! But it seems like there are always meetings. Last month Dan had a 4 1/2 hour meeting on a Saturday and then I had a 4 hour activity on a different Saturday. Combine that with my work schedule and we never get to see each other. Okay, I know, I know, I'm totally complaining. But, I had nothing else to blog, and this is what's on my mind lately, sorry. So, many weeks, with meetings and then me working at night, I never get to see my family. Dan puts Carson to bed at least half the time, if not more. He's great with Carson and doesn't complain, but that just means that I don't get to see my family. Plus Dan has lessons for seminary to prepare every night too and he needs to go to bed early so he can wake up at 4:30. So, there is a lot of stress on the family. There are many days when I get to see Dan for 1, maybe 2 hours in the whole day....that stinks! So, that's what brings me to the question, what is more important...church or family? I am of course, very religious and know that church is everything in our lives, but isn't there a point when there are just too many meetings? Okay, I said it, now I'll be quiet, I just had to get that out. Sorry about venting on my blog :)
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12 comments:
I love the question..."Church or Family". I sometimes feel the same way, you are just the brave person to actual ask the question. The Lord will tell you when enough-is-enough. Who knows maybe your Bishop feels the time is coming for you to be released. (?)
Randy shares those feelings. It's hard! You guys have so much going on since Dan's calling is EVERY day in addition to your church, work, babysitting and family responsibilities. You are so busy!
We talk about this a lot and when it feels like family is suffering because of the calling, then the calling is put on the back burner and family comes first - like you did Wednesday - and then don't feel guilty about it. Hmm...maybe that's why the elders don't seem to love us. But I think it is important that you can approach your calling with the right spirit and not resent it, and if that means skipping something on occasion to keep everyone happy, then that's what needs to be done.
Doesn't it say somewhere that the order of things is:
1. God
2. Family
3. Church
I wrote a novel. I hope you feel better soon! Want to come over and play tomorrow? (Thursday)
I love the comments...I knew I wasn't alone! Mary, Tami is probably coming up tomorrow...do you want to come over and play??? If she's here early enough, maybe we can have lunch together. I'll give you a call.
I am sure everyone feels and asks the same thing. We have been struggling with the same thing lately. With John working full time, going to school and his calling there doesn't leave much time for family and then there is my calling which takes time. Last semester John and I only saw each other 2 nights a week. It was wretched.
This semester we went and talked to the Bishop and he was so supportive and just so wonderful. He told me that family does come first and that I need to be there for my kids even if that means missing mutual or other meetings.
It is just so hard to juggle it all but I do love my calling and John loves his. I still feel guilty though (especially since I have been out of commission since I had the baby) that I am not doing more.
Okay that was an essay and it probably wasn't much help but just know you are defiantly not alone in your feelings.
I think this is why (in last conference I believe) that we were told to do most of our communication via email. And that we should only have the meetings face to face that are necessary. Or something to that effect. I tried briefly to find the article, but couldn't. I'll keep looking.
There have been several talks that mention this subject and also mention that we at times seem to be meeting heavy people. Why do we need meetings to discuss meetings? I think all of us can relate to what you're going through and have been there at one time or another. It is tough. I have felt those same feelings. Do what you have to do for your family. That is what the Lord wants and asks of you. Remember no success can compare to that of success in the home. I think that means even in the church.
I'm right there w/ you Lynette!! Sometimes its just so hard and everything is wraped up in so much guilt!! I know that that's not the way the Lord would have us feel. So I would say (IMHO)you just sometimes have to say hey I really can't do all these meetings...Then refuse to feel guilty!! :)
Family all the way! The Church isn't going to dwindle in unbelief if you don't attend a meeting or an activity, BUT your family will!! Our roles as women is to be in the home taking care of our families and that is where our Heavenly Father wants us to be.
I am working on having one or more meetings go away. I just need a little bit more time!!!
You get to see your husband for at least 1 or 2 hours a day? You are SO lucky! We can all relate to TOO many meetings. Just remember, it can always be worse. I just added up the time I saw Darren this week. Mon-Fri: 3 1/2 hours. Monday was the 3 hours. Tonight was about all of 7 or 8 minutes... sigh.
That's crazy Amy...more pathetic than me. Yep, there is always someone worse off. Why are you guys so busy...does he work late...or is it you working a lot? Life can be so busy sometimes...arrgghh!
I hope you don't mind me posting on your blog. I'm a friend of Ruth's and found your blog on her blogroll. I couldn't help but be drawn to this post. It's a hot button topic and I applaud your openness about it. Good for you. Here is a GREAT talk by Boyd K. Packer (that I wish they'd reread at every conference) that addresses exactly what you're saying. It *is* family first. Your family should NOT suffer at the expense of church callings. I hope you enjoy the talk.
Parents in Zion
I don't mind you posting at all...thanks! I'll read that article ASAP. Things are going well with church, i'm not AS frustrated lately...we'll see how they continue. Thanks to everyone for their comments...i had no idea this would spark so much interest and opinions. Thanks!
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